AyiConnect Staff, Jul 28, 2022
As humans, the pursuit of comfort is something we might never give up. In fact, we seem to be wired to seek comfortable situations at all times, which is responsible for many great developments.
However, too much comfort can be dangerous because it can lead to complacency.
This post addresses comfort in kids and whether our children are getting too much of it.
In case you are wondering, this doesn’t concern physical comfort. In this case, making your child too comfortable implies giving them everything they want, even when it isn't proper, as well as giving in whenever they complain and sorting everything out for them so they don't face any stress.
It is instinctive for parents to hate their child being uncomfortable and want to do anything to correct that. It's quite understandable.
However, there are times when we must let our kids experience some discomfort. For instance, if your kid is throwing a tantrum over eating healthy food, you can't afford to budge; it’s for their own good.
You also need to implement study times and reduced screen time, and sometimes even reduce their playtime if absolutely necessary.
Your kids might love you to the moon and back when you let them get away with playing all day, not doing their homework, or filling up on junk, but the long-term effects will leave everyone worse off.
What's also worrisome is that your kids will continue to push for more if you keep letting them get their way. Eventually, you might find yourself with a child practically out of control.
What are you doing wrong when you allow your child to become too comfortable?
Allowing your child to become too comfortable means you're sending a message to them that they can get through life doing whatever they want. You're also insinuating that they can avoid any unpleasant situation or experience, but that's not true.
One of the most important life skills is being able to endure discomfort, find solutions to problems, and not wait around for life to make you happy.
Doing your kids' assignments while they're asleep is setting them up for a life where they expect someone to do their work for them, whether it’s term papers in higher classes or perhaps a colleague taking on their work responsibilities while they lounge.
The result is that your child will struggle in their university studies, struggle to find a job, and struggle to keep it. They will basically enter a world for which they are unprepared.
How can parents use discomfort to help their kids become better people?
The first thing is to teach your kids that discomfort is a part of life. Instead of always shielding them, help them develop strategies to cope with uncomfortable situations and come out better.
If you want your kids to develop grit, you should engage them, support them, be empathetic towards them, and guide them to thrive amidst discomfort.
Studies show that shielding children from life’s challenges increases their anxiety, affects their coping skills, and robs them of the opportunity to learn about themselves, their skills, and the world at large.
Support your kids in handling discomfort by telling them about your life, the struggles you’ve faced, and how you overcame them. However, it is important to expose them to these stories at the right age, teaching them the lessons you learned when you were that old.
Discuss your physical, academic, emotional, and mental struggles with your child. On one hand, it helps them see that you can relate to the discomforts they encounter; on the other hand, it assures them that discomfort is a part of life and that they can get through whatever challenges they face throughout life.
Conclusion
As much as we aim for comfort in life, we must understand that there will be trials and challenges. We can't always run away from them. That's why you should teach your kids to prepare for these struggles, face them, and overcome them.
Remember that the struggles you have faced shaped you into a stronger and better person. So, guide your kids through their own struggles rather than shield them from opportunities to learn and develop character throughout life.
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